Victory is never enough
Why negative reinforcement leads us to despair, things I'm up to, mindfulness cartoons, and celebrations
Hi friend,
First, I'd like to take a minute to celebrate Joe Biden and Kamala Harris as the next President and Vice President of the United States. 🎉🎉 A lot has happened to get us here, including the tireless and collective work by many democratic leaders, past presidential candidates, and their supporters calling forth change. More Americans came out to vote compared to 2016, and for many - this was their very first election. Harris shattered the glass ceiling as the first Black and South Asian woman to be elected as the Vice President of the United States.
But as we celebrate Biden’s victory, we also celebrate Trump’s loss. We crave a good redemption story and schadenfreude (pleasure derived by someone from another person's misfortune) sometimes more than the win itself. Overcoming a negative is far more alluring than just focusing on the positives. This shows up in many different ways:
It's not just "making more money", but also “not being poor”
It's not just "finding love", but also "not being single” or
It’s not just “celebrating wins”, but also “overcoming parts of ourselves that we struggle with”
We’re never really enjoying our accomplishments, but instead, perpetually climbing up a ladder of milestones we’ve created for ourselves. We may think that by reframing the negative, we empower ourselves, but that is rarely the case. As quick as we accomplish one thing, we immediately find fault in another to keep growing ourselves.
And we wonder why we’re never happy. We never let ourselves be.
Life is too short to continue chasing after imperfections. When we can let go of the past, we can finally arrive in the present and enjoy what is.
"I made more money."
"I found love."
"We’ve made it."
And onto more celebrations, we go.
What I’m up to… (a bunch of things)
Recently was on Body Liberation for All with Dalia Kinsey talking about navigating cancel culture in 2020. A few big takeaways from this episode:
Assess your energy before acting (it’s ok to not have the energy to help educate others, but let’s not take that opportunity away from others)
Walking away from a situation is just as powerful as trying to fan the flames of a heated discussion (and sometimes, we are actually arguing with a bot!)
A growth mindset moves us forward (to stop the cyclical pattern of trauma, love and compassion bring us towards collective liberation)
Recorded a new Yellow Glitter podcast episode with Jon Lee-Olsen on coming out on live television as one of the only few openly out pro hockey players.
(for queer Asians) Next Sunday, Nov 15: Hosting a queer Asian support group with Yellow Glitter Sparkles.
(for LGBTQ+ designers of color) Next Tuesday, Nov 17: Hosting a Figma masterclass with QTBIPOC Design. (QTBIPOC Design is an organization I founded this summer to provide free design education to LGBTQ+ designers of color - in hopes that we can bring more diversity to design teams)
Mindfulness meets acid trip
I was recommended to an animated show on Netflix called Midnight Gospel, which follows an actual real-life podcast on mindfulness layered over an Adventure Time-like cartoon. Highly recommend.
Celebrations all around
I was out getting groceries when the announcement that Joe Biden was going to be the next president of the US was called. The streets of Soho filled with live music, people dancing, and drivers honking their horns. Celebrations captured by Buzzfeed, CNN, and Twitter.
As always, thanks for reading!
P.S. If you enjoyed this, share or sign up here: mindfulmoments.substack.com
Anything else? You can always hit "reply" to email me directly. 💌
Have a beautiful day!
Metta (loving-kindness),
Steven
Yellow Glitter Podcast | IG | YT | FB | TW | StevenWakabayashi.com